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A New York Times Notable Book of the Year 1993
An unconventional spiritual autobiography, told in a remarkable, outspoken voice and rooted in the messy realities and questions—the 'ordinary time'—of one woman's life, from infidelity to living with multiple sclerosis, to death, to renewing a marriage.
- Sales Rank: #944331 in Books
- Published on: 1994-08-30
- Released on: 1994-08-30
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 8.50" h x .56" w x 5.50" l, .63 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 256 pages
From Publishers Weekly
The "uneasy and unrelenting state of religious faith" which, according to Mairs, has marked the "whole of my conscious life," is explored with elan in this spiritual autobiography that generates sparks about many issues. As a Catholic feminist (an oxymoron, she observes), the author of Plaintext contemplates the thorny relationships she has had with the Church and with her family (at one time in her marriage, both partners were adulterous). She examines the effects of her multiple sclerosis and of her husband's cancer, conditions which contributed to their reconciliation and personal growth. In spirited essays that trace her journey from her Congregationalist childhood to her current individualistic Catholicism, she poses questions about marriage, parenthood and the meaning of suffering that will resonate with many contemporary lives. Her voice is challenging and her thrust at times radical, but Mairs maintains a disarming, self-deprecating wit and unflinching effort to remain true in this charting of the "terrain of a conscientious life."
Copyright 1993 Reed Business Information, Inc.
From Library Journal
This is the remarkable story of a woman who faces the vicissitudes of life with honesty, courage, and, ultimately, commitment. Hers is no easy or ideal life: her own adultery, her husband's adultery, his cancer, her multiple sclerosis, and her spiritual struggles, including bouts with clinical depression, culminate in an affirmation of marriage, life, and love that inspires Mairs to a stronger commitment. She struggles with self-image, with images of God, and with fears of loss and pain. Poignantly, she learns that she can love her husband "more often than not, in a way that reflects the love of God," a sentiment that is tested when he is unfaithful. Mairs ( Carnal Acts , LJ 10/1/90) also finds feminism, Roman Catholicism, and sacrament in ways that inspire. Recommended for public and seminary libraries.
Copyright 1993 Reed Business Information, Inc.
From Kirkus Reviews
This is no ordinary book. A ``spiritual companion'' to Remembering the Bone House (1989), it continues Mairs's intensely personal interior journey as it explores issues of faith and social conscience with edgy honesty and poise. Most often, Mairs begins, religious belief is something you keep to yourself, but, in any case, life forces the construction of a moral sense, however haphazard its defining moments. The author's own convictions evolved gradually, along with a creeping feminism, until both she and husband George left behind the comfortable shelter of Protestant childhood labels and celebrated a Mass marking their conversion to Catholicism. Now they belong to the Community of Christ of the Desert and pursue the social-justice commitment articulated by Leonardo Boff, making political choices independent of official Church policy. Theirs is a spiritual quest, a profound collaboration, a willed engagement with people in need: ``God was here, and the law was unembellished: take care of each other.'' Mairs's theology is by no means traditional, with unusual references to God (``she,'' always) and a stance that's ``both pro- choice and anti-abortion,'' but her expression of religious belief is a powerful statement presented, as in previous books, in the context of family history and ongoing calamity--George's third bout with melanoma, her own increased physical deterioration from MS. Surpassing earlier efforts, she writes with extraordinary grace of ``memory's malarial tenacity,'' of ``the passionate tenderness children evoke'' in their caregivers, or of the approach of death as ``a kind of conversion experience.'' Consoling and poignant: a Catholic feminist moral inquiry that resists New Age simplifications and shares its message of deep faith with courage and dignity. -- Copyright ©1993, Kirkus Associates, LP. All rights reserved.
Most helpful customer reviews
15 of 15 people found the following review helpful.
What to do with Betrayal
By Dale A. Favier
~
First of all, Mairs is an extraordinary prose stylist. "Each life must hold one, I think: one pain that overarches and obscures all others, one haunting irreversible fault for which one can never atone." There is no other living prose writer who regularly makes me put the book down, take several deep breaths, and then gingerly pick it up again to go back and find out what hit me. This is, I suppose, what the word "breathtaking" originally meant.
Second of all, Mairs wriggles between categories with perverse delight: I'm not surprised that some reviewers here express bewilderment. She's never quite where you expect her to be. Catholic activists don't write explicitly about their own sex lives. Inspirational writers don't admit to screwing up on their child-rearing. Feminists don't point out that there was no possible way male authorities could have avoided stifling their voices while they (the feminists) were in a dysfunctional relationship with God. If you're looking for a book to pet you and sooth you and reassure you that everything you already think is exactly right, you've come to the wrong shop.
But third -- most surprising of all, given all this -- Mairs is humane, inclusive, tender, and loving. This book is about adultery. In Mair's hands, adultery becomes the paradigm for the human relationship with God: we have all been unfaithful, and we have all felt betrayed. Okay. Then what comes next? What do we do with these betrayals? How do we look at them steadily, and turn them into a deeper love and a more meaningful faith?
Painfully, that's how.
I love this book. I don't know if you will. Probably not, unless you're one of those people who has to touch paintings to feel the stipple, shut yourself in closets to see what the dark looks like, and touch ice cubes with your tongue.
5 of 5 people found the following review helpful.
Honest, funny, and (for me) powerfully faith-affirming
By Kim Boykin
Autobiographical reflections of a convert to Catholicism, about her committed struggles with marriage and with faith. ("A Catholic feminist? Dear God, couldn't I please be something else?") What I love about this and all of Nancy Mairs's books is her uncompromising honesty about the difficulties of living a human life, and the way she shows that joy and gratitude and humor can be found right in the midst of the big mess we're in. I'm on my third or fourth copy of this book because I keep giving it away. This and "Waist-High in the World" are my favorites by Mairs.
4 of 5 people found the following review helpful.
Spirituality of every things
By Len Kreidermacher
This is a very important and useful book for me. Nancy writes essays about her life from a spiritual perspective. She includes everything that is important in her life: conversion, prayer, sickness, family life, finances, the poor in spirit and health.
I was raised as a Catholic and spent 35 years away so I can relate to Nancy's comments about the difference between the church hierarchy and the people. They each have different needs and actions. I prefer the people and have learned to diminish my strong feelings of criticism of the church hierarchy so that it doesn't keep me from being one of the church people and taking care of my spiritual needs.
This is one of the most important books that I have read.
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